


A Horse Is Not A Home

by stevieraebarnes



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Agent Carter References, Canon Divergence - Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Female Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Genetic Engineering, Hydra (Marvel), M/M, Multi, Natasha Romanov Backstory, Natasha-centric, On Hiatus, Original Character(s), POV Multiple, Some Comic Elements Used, Stucky - Freeform, Stucky Parents, Stucky beginnings, im so sorry, kind of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-08-11 07:48:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7882774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stevieraebarnes/pseuds/stevieraebarnes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Bucky are finally catching up on years passed and trying to decide when to tell the rest of the Avengers that they're more than friends... Natasha's past catches up to her in a big way, and brings changes for everyone in the Tower... Stella is just a young woman who needs guidance in her life now that she's escaped Hydra. She hopes to do that with her old mentor, Natalia... And Tony is trying to get to the bottom of the Hydra mystery while dealing with his own anger over the Winter Soldier. </p><p>Title inspired by Miike Snow.</p><p>Tags/Rating may be changed as story progresses. In fact, pretty sure later chapters will up the rating.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Past

**Author's Note:**

> The heart of this fic gravitates towards an original character, but the OC is more of a catalyst for our beloved established Marvel characters to reflect on themselves. I hope that clears up any questions any of you had before reading! I really hope you enjoy!
> 
> I'm so sorry to whoever is still reading this and waiting for an update. This work is on hold until I find the inspiration to continue. Xoxo

She sits at the outdoor patio table, wondering if this day would finally bring her closure. She is running out of stolen funds and owns even less patience. The weather is beginning to turn cold and she wraps both hands around her mug of tea. Her gray zip up hoodie covers her head and her sunglasses are large enough to obscure a safe amount of her face. Her denim jeans are of a thickness to provide some defense against the wind that is picking up, made worse by sitting at an outdoor café in the heart of downtown New York where skyscrapers intensified the urban weather. Her red converse leak cold air like a sieve. But she likes them. The color red has grown on her, after red had only meant months of intense anxiety and loathing. She hopes the colorappeals to her because she is finally able to decide what she likes and doesn’t like. She hopes to move past her conditioning. _I’ve seen it done_ , she thinks. _That’s why I’m here_.

It had taken her longer than she had liked to get to the states. Trains, ships, and stolen cars used and abandoned once their purpose was served. She has stolen money. Puchased clothes. Lifted a messenger bag. Filled it with notebooks, pens, and her stolen currency. But she has made her way to New York, sitting with a view of the Avengers Tower. She continues to watch the front entrance and the sidewalk paths leading up and down, waiting.

Once she made it to her destination, she scoped out the area and found her spot. She’s been having her morning tea now for nine days straight. She knows that she’s seen the person she’s looking for at the Tower. She knows that the person she seeks is an Avenger. She takes another sip of tea. It’s a Tuesday at 9:30 in the morning. Her routine includes watching the front door of the Avengers building for just under two hours. Two hours or more brings suspicion from the employees of the café. She then feigns window-shopping and grabs lunch up the street with an alternative visual on the building. After that she has a couple of building rooftops where she can watch in peace.

The chair has become uncomfortable and she crosses and uncrosses her legs to try to get into a satisfying position. While she’s fidgeting, the person she’s looking out for walks into her sightlines.

She wants to leap up, the moment has finally come, but she makes herself stay calm and unmoving. She waits. Watches. And then, finally, the moment comes to get up and walk.

Out of nowhere, a second person joins in. The two people laugh. They enter the building together. Her moment is gone.

“Shit.”

She starts to panic and then takes a deep breath. So much for limiting contact with others. One more deep breath. She makes her legs move and she walks purposefully through the front doors and through the middle of the lobby to the security desk. It is well staffed.

“Can I help you?” a middle-aged woman asks.

“I’m here to see Natalia.”

“Natalia?”

“Yes. She just walked in a couple minutes ago.”

The woman squints at her. “Hmm, well, do you have an appointment made with her or…?”

“I’m an old friend. I really need to see her.”

“I’m sorry, it’s just that ‘old friends’ usually turn out to be enemies in this line of work. I’ll have to verify.” Her desk phone rings. “Oh!” she says with surprise. “Yes, I’ll show her through.” She replaces the receiver and walks around the desk to her side.

“Come on, I’ll show you the elevator.”

“I can see Natalia?”

“That depends on what he has to say. Just get in the elevator. It will take you to the designated floor. Here’s your guest badge. Wear it at all times.”

She puts on the lanyard over her head and steps into the elevator. “That’s it?”

“That’s it. Feel free to contact me if you have any more questions.” The woman turns on her heel and walks back to the front desk.

The elevator closes and begins its ascent. She is starting to get nervous. _What if this is a bad idea?_ _What if Natalia doesn’t remember her?_ She’s been through this line of thinking before, though, and she’s still here. In the elevator to see her old mentor.

She pulls back her hood and stuffs her sunglasses into her bag just as the elevator announces the floor and comes to a slow halt. The doors peel back to reveal a large living area. There are couches and coffee tables. A TV is mounted above a fireplace. A huge wet bar runs along one whole wall.

“So. I heard you were looking for Natalia.”

Tony Stark is standing behind the wet bar, pulling out supplies from an under-the-counter shelf.

“That’s right. I saw her walk in this morning.”

“Interesting. Uh, just so you know, she doesn’t actually go by Natalia. It’s Natasha now. And that makes you someone from her past before she defected.” He pauses, then gives her a look of confusion. “What are you doing here, kid?”

“I’ve told you. I need to see her.”

“How do you even know her? Whatever group you’re with, I’m thinking Black Widow was before your time.” Before anyone can respond, another voice interrupts.

“Goddamnit, Tony, you can’t intercept other people’s visitors!” Natasha strode in from a back doorway.

“She could be an assassin sent to deal with all the shit you’ve been stirring for so long,” Tony lobs back.

Natasha finally looks at her. Her eyes narrow and she stops walking. They stare at each other for what feels like is too long and then Natasha speaks:

“маленъкая красная звезда?"

The young woman begins to sob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Russian translation: Little Red Star
> 
> The name Stella Mira comes from the name of the Red Giant star system.


	2. Nat

Natasha rushes over and guides her to the nearest sofa.

"Whoa. Hold on. Do I need to get Sam back in here? Who is this?"

Natasha ignores Tony and instead sits down and cradles their new arrival.

"That's it. I'm getting Sam."

"Her name is Stella Mira."

"Is that what you called her?"

“No. I called her Little Red Star. That was her pet name, I guess,” Natasha continues, disbelief at who is here, in her arms, making her ramble. “Like an inside joke. Her proper name was Stella Mira because Hydra expected great things from her.”

“Nat!” She chokes out. “You’re really here! I’m so sorry. I had nowhere else to go.” She continues crying into Nat’s collarbone.

“Shh,” Natasha soothes. “I’ve got you.” She wraps her arms around the girl – she will always just be a girl to her, always just how she left her – and smoothes her hair in an affectionate manner.

The girl cries for a solid ten minutes before her shoulders begin to relax and her breathing start to even out. Tony has been checking every item in the room to keep himself occupied until he gets some answers from Nat.

“Stella,” Natasha starts.

She looks up. “Nat, I’m so tired.”

Natasha figures as much. The girl is fully clothed and seems to be the picture of health, but there’s no way she was living easy while on the run. “Come with me,” she tells her. She leads Stella back to the elevators and tells F.R.I.D.A.Y. her floor.

“You can sleep in my room. I have a very comfortable couch.”

“Thank you, so much. I really appreciate you helping after I’ve just barged in here with no warning.”

“I get it. We’ll talk later. But first…my God, Stella. I don’t have any clothes that will fit you.”

“I don’t care.”

“You’re not the little girl I remember. You were never taller than me.” Natasha calculates that the girl probably has six inches on her now. And she has to stop thinking of her as ‘the girl’. She leads her through the door.

“Let me grab you some things. If you want to just crash, go for it.” She points to the couch in her ensuite. “If you want a shower first, I’ve got towels for you.” Natasha pulls out a towel and washcloth, then finds some sweats and a shirt from her dresser. She walks out to place the items in a pile on her coffee table and finds Stella already stretched out on the couch, asleep.

*

By the time Natasha has made it back to the common area, Tony is chatting animatedly with Sam, Clint, Wanda, Vision, and Rhodey.

“Ah! Here she is! We can’t wait to hear the story of this crying acquaintance you have,” Tony immediately starts up.

“Is it true, Nat?” Clint asks. “Is it the girl?”

Natasha nods in confirmation.  
“Who’s this girl?” Sam asks.

“My one regret,” Natasha says, “from defecting to SHIELD, was that I left her behind.” Natasha takes a breath and tells them the basic information. “She was another young girl for the femme fatale program. By the time she reached training age, I was mentoring them. But Stella was different. While the rest of us were taken from our homes, I remember the day Stella was born. She was born, via surrogate, at the Hydra facility our cell was located in. Her only family was HYDRA. And me. I was nine when she was born. And when she was five, I began to help train her. At ten, I was assigned to her personally and exclusively. When she was thirteen, I left. I wanted to take her with me, but she wasn’t just a cell unit. She was Hydra/Soviet tech and property. They made her. I had a bit more autonomy. I was trusted. She was a closely guarded secret. I figured she would either come to the same decision I did, or not. But to fill her head with my own thoughts would get her killed. I left her behind. And now she’s here.”

“She was made by Hydra?” Rhodes asks.

“So, what, she’s like some sort of Khan? Genetically engineered super human? They get tired of their hit or miss serum?”

“I don’t know, Tony. When I knew her, she was just a regular kid. Okay, so, a skillful, trained assassin, but still a kid. She got hurt while learning new things and confided to me. Fairly normal stuff.”

“They grew her,” Sam states.

“Yeah, get with the program,” says Tony.

“Is she safe to be here?” Wanda asks. “Do you know why she found you?”

“Not yet. Back in Russia, we had a close bond. I hope I didn’t ruin that ten years ago.”

“I’m sure she’ll remember your friendship. That’s why she’s here,” Rhodes says.

“I don’t know. Thirteen’s a pretty volatile age.”

“Are we to interrogate her at some point?” Vision asks.

Sam follows up: “What’s she doing now?”

“She’s sleeping. I’m sure Tony’s AI will let us know if she tries anything we don’t approve of.”

“I will let you know immediately,” chirps F.R.I.D.A.Y.

“See? There we go.”

“So,” says Tony. “We’ve got our own little Hydra refugee program now.”

“Don’t even joke about that, Tony,” Rhodey says.

“Well, you see, I was thinking we could get like some sort of non-profit status out of it. Because, so far, the US government has declined to see my donations to the Avengers Initiative as tax deductable.”

“That’s because of the shady overhead the last couple of years,” Sam says.

Tony considers this. “Good point. I know! We put the Hydra refugees on the board. 501 status for sure.”

“I can’t believe the public likes you so much.”

“Aw, come on, Rhodey! I’m just brainstorming.”

“And deflecting. You’re really good at that.”

“So then let’s get to the point of all of this,” Wanda says.

“We assess. We watch and we question. And we help if we can.” Natasha won’t take any other suggestions.

“All right, Nat. It’s your call.”

“She’s just like me. If she proves a problem, Vision can handle her.”

“I’m confident in my abilities, but I think there might be more to our guest than we know.”

“Don’t be fucking ominous, Vision,” Tony retorts.

“I’m working on insufficient data, I hope to have some questions answered. I’m particularly interested in the fact that she was ‘grown’, as you put it, in the Hydra lab. That’s quite beyond neurological conditioning.”

“Later,” Natasha says. “We’ll interview her after she’s rested.” She looks at the faces around her, and is comforted when their heads nod in agreement. She notes a particular absence. Her friend, her ally, and the only person stubborn enough to oppose her is missing. Natasha wonders what Rogers will say when he finds out. But she only cares about what Cap will do.


	3. The Captain and the Sergeant

STEVE: I stop in the middle of the aisle. I’ve already been in this section twice, but have come away empty handed. The paperback spines glean in their newness, making the choice to pick one overwhelming. I’ve been on a roll with my last few picks. And I don’t want to ruin my streak. The last few novels I’d picked had been fantasy, but today the science fiction titles look promising as well. After a couple more minutes of deliberation, I grab a book. _The Man In the High Castle_. It sounds perfect. I read some more of the summary and get a bad feeling. This book could be awful. I read the summary again. Maybe this book is just what’s needed.

I bring it to the counter and pay for it. The man puts it into an artisanal bag that reminds me of Wanda for some reason. Maybe next time I’ll bring her to the bookstore. I pocket my wallet and turn to exit. You’re standing there, with a big grin on your face. I hope the book isn’t overstepping things or that the alternate history will take away this beautiful smile on your face. But I think that if we read it together, maybe we’ll be okay.

 

BUCKY: I’m watching you examine every book on the shelf like picking out the right one means life or death. I want to go in and reassure you, but you’re also kind of fun to watch when you’re concentrating. Plus, I know this means a lot to you. If I go in, then you’ll feel rushed and if it turns out the book’s a dud, then you’ll feel responsible. You’ve selected a book now and you’re examining the cover. I can’t see what it is, but you’ve got a serious look on your face. I mentally note to myself to reserve judgment on this book until I’ve read quite a bit of it.

I know you’re worried about me. I know that you worry about how I’m adjusting. You worry about _us_ and if it’s a crutch. It’s not. Because I remember so much of you and me together. There’s no way this isn’t a good thing. I’m finally free to say the words I’ve always felt and always shunned. I’m free to tell you _how much I love you_.

You turn to exit. I can’t help but smile as you see me and walk to close the distance between us. The book is in a bag. It’s fancy. You’ll probably give it to Wanda. “Get something new?” I ask you. “Yeah,” you say. “Something different.” “Different’s good.” And I mean it. Because, as we head back to the Tower, our comfortable home can deal with different.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a short one...sorry! These early chapters are helping me to establish the tone of the story, which I've altered based on the characters the chapter focuses on. I just couldn't write the same way for each character. Plus, writing for Steve and Bucky, I pulled rank and went romantic. They each get to narrate AND it's first person POV. Luckies.


	4. Nat

The group is still discussing their new arrival when Cap and Barnes join them. Steve calls out a general “Hey!” and walks over to Sam and Wanda. Barnes immediately sits down by the exit and watches. Natasha knows Barnes is still adjusting to all of the people coming and going. She notices, and she knows that there are people here to help. So she moves on. Steve is walking towards her now.

“I hear there’s quite the hubbub going around.”

She smiles at his turn of phrase. “Yeah, an old student of mine is bunking with us.” She fills him in and he nods along, showing that he hears and understands. It’s what she likes best about Steve.

“So, there’s an understanding, then? With the group? We don’t want anyone going rogue with the situation.”

“Yeah,” says Natasha. “We’ll help her as much as we can, but she has to give us information. And it has to be the truth. I’m hoping Vision can monitor her bio markers while we’re questioning her. Usually, I’m very good at telling when a person is lying. But, I usually haven’t trained them either. I’m not trusting myself with this one.”

“She means that much to you, huh?” Steve asks.

“She did,” is all Natasha can say.

“Well, you’ve got time and a chance to figure out where you go from here. No matter what the outcome, you won’t have to wonder any more.”

Natasha feels like Cap is talking more from personal experience, so she nods to tell him she understands. He walks away, back to Barnes and sits down next to him. She watches as he starts to fill his friend in on the situation. Sam makes his way over and sits in a chair opposite them, turning them into a trio. Barnes and Cap are talking, then Barnes is asking Sam some questions. Natasha sees the improvement in Barnes, sees him allowing someone else in to that very small circle of trust. She sees Steve laugh at a comment, sees him as himself, like he would have been back before he was a super soldier. Before he lost everything and woke up in strange times.

Why has her past come to her present?

“Nat.”

Clint stands by her side. His face shows chummy enjoyment to project to the others, but she knows he’s concerned.

“The Avengers, as a group, are kind of intimidating,” he states vaguely. But she knows exactly what he’s saying to her.

“If there’s a chance that she’s a threat, then we have to deal with this together.” She hates admitting that, but she hasn’t survived this line of work for so long by being an optimist. “She’s met Tony. That’s a lot of personality to handle, so I feel like the biggest problem is out of the way. I’m not sure about Barnes, though.”

“Is there history there?”

“No. They’ve never met. But she’s seen him. The Winter Soldier was sort of used to keep the girls in line. You know, misbehave and the fist of Hydra will punish you. But he was always in cryo so I doubt it was a viable threat.”

“But she’s seen his face. And it’s associated with the Boogey Man.”

“Yeah.”

“Nat, if you need anything, all you have to do is ask.”

“I know. Thanks.”

“So what do you think Steve and Barnes do when they go walk around the city?” Clint asks, changing the subject. “Do you think they get angry at the way today’s youths dress?”  
Natasha laughs. “Yeah, we’re all just a bunch of delinquents in their eyes,” she says, rolling her eyes.

“That could’ve been bad,” Clint muses.

“What?”

“Finding Barnes. He could’ve not had anything of Bucky left in him. You know? I mean, I get why Cap went after him. He had a chance to get his best friend back, have a bit of his own time period with him. That’s gotta be major temptation right there. But if Cap had only found the Winter Soldier, I don’t think we’d have Captain America anymore.”

“I’m not out of time, Clint. I don’t prioritize emotions before physical well-being. And I have you with me like all our other missions. I’m not taking Steve’s risks.”

“I know. But I’d be a bad friend if I didn’t mention it, right?” 

“I’m not taking applications for a new best friend, so I guess you’re doing something right. But Cap always fights for what he believes in, and in bringing back Barnes, it was the right fight.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Because it was Steve who went fighting, not Captain America. And he fought for something selfish. It’s the only time I’ve seen him do something for himself.”

“And what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know.”

It’s at that moment that the elevator announces an arrival and Stella steps out from behind the doors.


	5. Nat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeeeaaahhh, just gonna post this and walk away...  
> Agent Carter Season 1 referenced.

Natasha notes that she has showered and is wearing the sweats she left out for her. The sweats are too short, but since Stella’s barefoot it isn’t as noticeable as it could be. Stella walks past Barnes, who is still sitting on the couch and looks up to watch her go by. She doesn’t look at him, but Natasha knows that Stella has noted everyone in the room. Nat decides to help with the awkward silence by helping to close the distance as her friend makes her way to her.

They meet in the middle and Natasha begins her questions.

“Are you hungry?”

Stella nods.

Tony perks up, “Pizza. My treat. F.R.I.D.A.Y.? My usual order, please.”

“Of course,” Tony’s AI responds. “I will inform you of your approximate wait time.”

“Yeah, sounds good. So!” Tony claps his hands together, ready to pounce. “How are you finding New York so far? You sight seeing? Or do you have your target in your sightlines already?”

There’s a sharp intake of breath as the group watches to see how Stella answers.

“You want to know why I’m here.” It’s not a question.

“Just start with what brought you here, okay?” Natasha tells her. “We can deal with back story later.”

“Pizza should be here in about thirty minutes,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. interrupts. The group continues to wait in silence.

“The cell group fell apart,” Stella begins. “The opportunity to leave finally presented itself. I knew I couldn’t stop until I got here. Any other organization would not be equipped to deal with any one who came looking for me. There was also the high probability that they’d imprison me. I needed people who were competent and would give me a fair shot. I knew Nat had been able to join.”

“Are you looking to join?”

“I don’t think so. But I’m positive people are looking for me.” She turns to face her old mentor. “I can’t go back, Nat.”

“I know, Stella.” Natasha purses her lips, then she voices her priority concern. “You’re sure you slipped away? They didn’t let you go on purpose?”

“No way. Things had been off for years. About two years ago, they stopped letting me out of the compound.”

“You hadn’t been out on any missions?” Natasha asks.

“No. I couldn’t go on any missions. I couldn’t leave. There was some major failure and we suffered for it.”

“Project Insight,” Steve offers.

“I don’t know. They refused to tell us. And then two months ago, something sent the staffers scrambling. All electronics had been ripped out of the complex after the last incident, so we’d been in the dark for awhile. One day, I saw that there was lag in security and I didn’t question it. I took off and didn’t stop. That was about four weeks ago.”

Most in the group are paying close attention to every word exchange, but Barnes quietly stands up and walks out of the room. Natasha hears the elevator open and she guesses that he needs to distance himself from this environment. Natasha looks to Steve and sees that his eyes follow Barnes’ movements, but he remains seated.

“What was your purpose with Hydra?” Steve asks.

“People talked to me,” Stella responds. “When I was younger, I was a child my missions wanted to take care of. My assignments took me into their homes. Let me play with their children. I snuck out with their secrets. The missions assumed I’d gone back to living on the streets. They never suspected I was a plant.

“When I hit sixteen, the missions saw me differently. They bought me things. Told me things. The world had grown so used to masks and weapons that they never hesitated to open their worlds to a school age orphan.”

“So, what, Hydra was your pimp?” Tony asks.

“Tony,” Steve warns. But Stella just continues.

“Hydra knew I could take care of myself. No one ever touched me. I either slipped away or I terminated the target, depending on what my instructions were. It was specifically stated in my mission reports that I was not to have any relations with the targets on account that Hydra had left my reproductive organs intact.”

“You’re positive?” Nat asks. Her surprise shows through her impassive mask. Natasha knows what the procedure is for the girls Hydra trains. She experienced it first hand.

“Yes. The handlers told me I was their back up plan for continuing the lineage.”

Tony decides to chew on that statement. “So, Hydra moves from advanced in-vitro to doing things the old fashioned way as their backup. They must have mixed you up with some important DNA…” Tony trails off.

“I’ve wondered that myself,” Stella replies.

But Natasha knows that Tony is on to something. She knows because she’s starting to suspect exactly what Hydra did. Tony catches her eye.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. is the pizza here yet?”

“Surveillance shows delivery is approaching the front doors from fifty feet away.”

“Clint, go get the pizza. I’m hungry.”

“You’re the worst,” Clint complains, but he knows there’s an ulterior motive here. He makes his way for the elevator.

“I’m thirsty. Is anyone else thirsty?” Tony moves to behind the bar.

Natasha puts her own pieces into place before joining him. “Stella,” she says, “I want you to talk with Sam here. Steve, too,” she adds, “but Sam has a special talent for what you’re going through.”

Sam gives her a look as if to say _I do???_ and she nods encouragingly to Stella. Steve holds out his arm to shake her hand and Nat’s eyes linger to make sure she isn’t crazy, but what she sees is real so she makes her way back to Tony.

The two of them stand in the farthest corner of the bar, watching everyone make polite chatter.

“You see it, don’t you,” Natasha says.

“She’s not a perfect copy, but the similarities are unbelievable.”

“They have the same coloring. The same nose. The same jawline.”

“Do you know about the vial?” Tony asks.

Natasha looks at him curiously.

“Wow, I know something that you don’t. Stark privilege right here. Okay, so, my dad told me that Peggy Carter had a vial of Captain America’s blood.”

“Peggy Carter? Steve’s Peggy?”

“Yeah. She had the only blood sample of Steve Rogers after the serum injection. Except, Hydra knew about the vial. And I’m thinking that since they were able to take over the running of SHIELD, they were probably able to get their hands on Cap’s blood sample.”

“And they used it to, what grow? clone? Stella from that?”

“I think they used Cap as the daddy donor.” Tony squints in Stella’s direction. “It looks like she took a shower. I can get a hair sample and start running DNA.”

“I think that would be wise. We don’t want to run our mouths on this until we’re 100% sure. We could even be wrong. She could just randomly look like Steve Rogers.”

“She’s Hydra made. They were always looking to replicate Captain America.”

“Well, they did it wrong. Stella is not Captain America.”

“No, but I’m betting she is a legitimate hybrid.” Tony smirks and mumbles “legitimate” to himself before getting back on track. “My question is, why did they go with what looks like half of Cap’s DNA? Was it a stability issue? Was it easier to create Stella through two donors? That’s my guess; they were trying to keep their experiments as close to nature as possible.”

They watch Stella, Steve, and Sam talk.

“How do we tell them?” Natasha asks.

“We don’t. Not until we know more.”

“Good, because I really don’t want to tell Steve that they mixed his DNA with some random stranger to produce this ex-Hydra agent talking to him.”

“Ex-agent? You sure about that?” Tony glances at Natasha who has nothing to offer him. He looks back to Stella.

“Oh, and I no longer think we’re working with a random second set of DNA,” Tony says, as he watches Barnes re-enter the room. Barnes walks to stand next to Steve and the whole picture falls into place.


	6. The Captain and the Sergeant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Stucky for you!!! And a longer chapter to get through the weekend :)

BUCKY: I’m beginning to enjoy walking around the city. Walking the streets with so many other people gives me the chance to figure out how people operate. In some ways, people are the same as when it was our time. Some hurry to their destinations. Others stroll slow and casually, with no purpose except to enjoy the moment: the sun shining down on this cold day; the person walking by their side.

I haven’t been to Brooklyn yet. I get the sense that you haven’t either. I don’t think I’m ready. And there’s nothing there anymore. I don’t want to see what’s become of our apartment. There are so many memories there. Hot summers and pick up games. Cold nights and a persistent cough. You were so small then. And now, I see the concern in your eyes; the undivided attention you give me. I feel guilty. It was always me who took care of you. But mostly I feel guilty because a part of me likes being on the receiving end of your attentions. I like knowing that I can rely on your strength. I’ve been relying on you a lot lately.

Walking New York today brought back happy memories. Just you and me, strolling aimlessly, stopping by whatever shop that holds our interest. I’m feeling pretty good by the time we get back to the Tower. You and me, we talk, we remember, we enjoy the comfort of each other. We’re healing. When we get back to the lounge, instead of there being one or two people in there, everyone is gathered. It feels ominous and I start to get nervous. I don’t walk anymore into the room and instead sit down on the first couch I see. It’s right by the exit. You look at me and I give you a small nod, so you continue on to say hi to your friends. I watch you smile and greet everyone, you make small talk with a few and then have a lengthy conversation with Natasha. As I watch, I feel so proud of you. This small, sickly child – who only had me and his mom to count on – has so many people in his life to support him. You have friends to laugh with. Friends to save your neck when you’ve taken on too many bullies. I’m proud of you, but I also feel sad, and, yes, jealous. I wasn’t there for any of this. I wasn’t there when you woke up in this modern world. I wasn’t there when you needed your best friend most. I missed out on things. You’ve grown and learned new lessons without me. A big part of me doesn’t like that you experienced these new things without me. They see you now, they never saw you before. A small, spiteful part of me gets satisfaction in knowing that only I have that privilege. As I sit here, I force myself to think of all of the things we’ve overcome. We’re both here, now, together. We survived death and the cold to find each other, both of us in the prime of our lives. Is this real? How did we overcome such odds?

You’re walking back and plop yourself down next to me. You tell me about the young woman and her Hydra connections. Sam joins us, backing up what you say. I like Sam. He lets us be. Every one else focuses on what I need or what you need. Sam deals with us together. I decide that after we figure out what it is we’re creating for ourselves, Sam should be the first one we tell. We’ll have to tell people. It’s always been you and me, Steve. Even if we’ve only now allowed ourselves to realize what we mean to each other. And our…friends. They’ll find out. But that’s the thing about living in this world. We can tell people. My mind is beginning to wander, planning much more pleasant things than what we are faced with now. A member of Hydra within the Tower. And then, the young woman is there in the room with us. I watch her walk past. She looks familiar. I study the side of her face as she quickly passes by, but I have no Hydra memories of her. 

And then Tony starts in, blunt as always. No no no no no. I can’t do this. I’m sorry, Steve. I can’t do this. I press my leg against you to let you know and I push myself up, using the momentum to carry my whole body out of the room as noiselessly as possible. My legs carry me along the familiar path, muscle memory depositing myself outside the door of our room. Opposite this door is another that technically goes to my room. Stark showed my where he intended for me to stay when I first arrived. But when he walked away, I ignored him. I have never set foot in that room.

I walk into our room and head straight for the bedroom. I sit on the edge of the bed and just stay. I sit and remember.

I remember when you first brought me here. It actually wasn’t that long ago. Only three weeks. I was broken. You stood in the doorway, watching me not walk into my designated room when Tony left. I looked at you and you motioned with your head to come in with you.

We didn’t talk much. You gave me space so I could take care of some things. I took a shower; a real shower with hot water. I shaved, and I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been clean-shaven. My mind thought it was probably during the War. You had set out clothes for me. I’d never worn your clothes before. You had worn mine, usually a few years later when you’d grown enough. You had thoughtfully given me a long sleeve shirt and some flannel pajama bottoms. Clean and dressed, I left the bathroom, unsure of what to do next.

“Make yourself comfortable, Buck” you told me. “I’ll be quick,” and then you dashed into the bathroom for your own shower. I wandered around, looking at your things. There weren’t a lot. There were some books; mostly on historical events that you were asleep for. I was awake for a few of them. I find your sketchbook, but I don’t peek. I’m doing everything as right as I can. I walked into your bedroom. It was just yours at the time, had been for about a year. I know you had lived in D.C. before that. Of course I know. I had shot Nick Fury through your living room window. Left him bleeding on your chair. There are not enough sorries in the world for what I have put you through. I sat down on your bed, much like I am now, and looked around. The room was sparse and it bothered me. There wasn’t much of you in it.

But then you were standing in the door frame, mostly dried off, and wearing some sort of lounging pants. You stood there and we looked at each other. And then you crossed the threshold, sitting down next to me. You put an arm around me and that was all I needed. I knew then and there what we were to each other. It didn’t even occur to me that I could be wrong. Because I wasn’t. I leaned into your body and held you. You wrapped your other arm around me and we stayed that way for a long time. We stayed that way until we fell back, and drifted off to sleep tangled in each other.

We’ve been like that ever since.

 

STEVE: I watch you leave the room and my first instinct is to come with you. I know that this is another hurdle for you. And I hate that this problem has landed on our doorstep. Will we ever be rid of Hydra? Will I ever hang up this shield? I know that people want Captain America, but I haven’t been able to just be Steve for a long time. It’s been even longer since it’s been you and me.

You had given me a reassuring nudge with your leg and I let that knowledge calm me. You have to figure out how to deal with this yourself. I know that. I don’t like it, but I’ll acknowledge the fact. I refocus to what’s going on in the lounge and realize that I want to know more. She’s just another person who needs our help. She’s young. Not that young, but younger than any of us. Plus, being raised by Hydra, who knows what she actually knows about the world. You and me, Buck, we had a childhood. And it was perfect. The two of us against the world. It’s funny how some things don’t change. And even Natasha had a brief normal upbringing before she started training. But this girl – Stella – she knows nothing but Hydra. I hurt for her. I have so many memories of us growing up together. Getting into trouble. Eating too much sugar. I remember catching a cold and having to stay inside. You came over and I remember feeling such disappointment. Again, I couldn’t go outside and play with the other kids. But you didn’t seem too bothered. You grabbed another blanket and piled it on me, tucking the ends under me. I felt comforted from your attention.

Stella doesn’t have any experience with that. When Tony makes a flippant comment to her regarding how Hydra used her, I call his name in warning. She doesn’t deserve his sarcasm. Even if it is his own way of deflecting. She doesn’t know that. Apparently, this marks me as the nice guy in the room, because suddenly Nat’s dumping Stella off with Sam and me while she goes talks things over with Tony. She goes as far away as possible, too, so I can’t overhear what they say.

Thankfully Sam starts asking polite questions, because I don’t seem to be functioning. Sam is asking her if she has considered making any future plans and he starts listing off resources for her. I’m only half listening because I’m looking at Stella, watching her responses. It’s weird, but it’s like I’m not even looking at her anymore. All I see is Rebecca. This young woman looks like a grown up version of your little sister, Buck. Sam’s still talking and then you’re standing with us. You’re back and you look like you. Sometimes I worry that the next time I see you, you won’t be you. To be honest, it’s my greatest fear. To see you, and for you to not be you, just like when I found you two years ago on the overpass. When you said, “Who the hell is Bucky?” I don’t ever want to hear those words again. But looking at you now, your eyes are clear, your hair is swept back, and you don’t look physically injured. All good signs. I remember about Stella, and about Rebecca, but Nat is here and tugging on Stella and then they are gone. I look around for Tony and find him. He’s looking at me and when he sees that I’ve caught his eye, he looks away before he, too, slips out of the room.

Clint walks in with pizza and suddenly the rest of us don’t know what the point of it was anymore.


	7. Stella

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow...so time really got away from me. I am so sorry for making you wait A MONTH for another installation!!!! It's the usual excuses: school started, then a cold virus, and tons of responsibilities hit me like a truck...
> 
> So, I hope all of you are keeping healthy and on top of all the work thrown your way. I'm finally digging my way out. Here's another chapter; there are more written, I just need to do a quick edit session before posting. Any mistakes are definitely mine since I do all of my own editing!
> 
> Anyways, here's to you. Please enjoy this next chapter :)
> 
> \- Stevie Rae

The conversation is polite and awkward. Captain Rogers is looking at her in a way that she doesn’t understand. It’s not calculating or hostile. But it is a searching look. Searching for what, Stella doesn’t know.

The man who walked out reappears. She notices him more this time around, his gait leading him into her sightlines instead of when she walked past his seated, non-threatening form earlier. She notices how he carries himself as he moves: weight adjustment, how he holds his left arm close to his body. The realization comes to her. He’s wearing long sleeves, but Stella sees the flash of metal. Something…what? has lodged itself in her stomach, is already clawing at her throat. Stella takes half a second to come up with the word ‘panic’ when Natalia is grabbing her by the elbow and escorting her to the elevator.

“Nat? What?” Stella begins.

“Not yet. We need to get to the R & D floors.”

Tony pushes into the elevator and announces the floor number.

“How do we go about this?” Nat asks Tony.

“Uh, I’ll figure it out.” Tony takes a deep breath. “I don’t actually know a whole lot about biology. But I was able to program biometrics for my suit. Actually, it was JARVIS who suggested it.”

“Normally, this stuff gets sent out to a lab.”

“Not this time. No way we’re sending this out of house. Except to Banner. I’m probably going to have him help.”

Natalia looks away from Tony. It’s enough of a gesture that Stella begins to wonder who this Banner person is. She’s seen those looks before, in the families she infiltrated. By the husbands when their wives ask about this girl sitting at the table. But Stella recognizes there are more pressing things to wonder about. The elevator doors open and Tony leads them through the glass-lined hall of different shop rooms.

“Why are you dragging me somewhere else?” she asks. “And I think you should ask my permission before you do any lab work on me.”

“Hey, you came to us, remember?” Tony asks. “You can’t From Russia With Love your way out of this.”

Natalia softens a bit. “We’ll let you know what we want to do, but first we needed to remove you from that environment. We need to do this in private.”

“It’s because of him, isn’t it.”

“Him?” Tony’s going to make her say. Natalia would never play dumb.

“The Winter Soldier. I saw him.”

“And what would you know about the Winter Soldier?”

Stella glares at him. “I saw his hand. I recall his face. What is he doing here?” She is starting to panic. How many others are here? How many from Hydra?

“Stella, we haven’t been infiltrated. There’s no such thing as safe, but this is your best bet. I want you to take a breath and calm down.”

She does, focusing on Nat’s face, knowing that Natalia is breathing with her. They are in one of the labs now and Nat shows Stella to a chair. Stella sits, but keeps her eyes locked on Nat.

“Barnes is,” Natalia begins.

“Barnes?” Stella interrupts.

“The Winter Soldier,” Nat clarifies. “His real name is Barnes. He’s not like you or me. He was made into a weapon by Hydra, but he had a life before that. Hydra captured Barnes towards the end of World War II.”

“World War II?” Stella asks.

“Yeah. Barnes is Steve’s best friend.”

“The Winter Soldier is best friends with Captain America?”

“I know,” Nat grins. “But they go way back to their Brooklyn childhood. Everyone thought Barnes had died while out on a mission with Steve back in the 1940s. When Steve had to fight the Winter Soldier and found out it was Barnes behind the mask, found out how Hydra had used him…well, his mission became something else. It took a few years, but Steve found his friend. Barnes isn’t the Winter Soldier. I don’t know what he is, but he’s not Hydra’s ghost story anymore.”

“So,” Stella ventures, “you think your friends might help me? Since they’ve helped you? And him?”

Tony speaks up. “With Steve in charge of the Avengers, we’ll help any one who flashes some helpless Bambi eyes at us. Kinda think we should set up some guidelines or something.” Tony shuffles around in a drawer, before coming up with a plastic package. “So, Natasha and I would like to get a blood sample of yours. I’m pretty good at drawing it myself, but we’ll take what we can get.”

“What do you want to check for?”

“We want to see if there are any anomalies that could negatively affect you while in our care,” Nat says before Tony can respond. “We just want a bigger picture when it comes to removing you from Hydra. Barnes required a lot of work when he left.”

Stella ponders this while Tony comes at her with a metal tray.

“Incoming,” he says. He parks in front of her and ties a band around her arm that he’s grabbed and placed on the tray. He draws her blood and caps the plastic vial. He forages around, finally coming up with a Sharpie and writes on the vial.

“Can F.R.I.D.A.Y. take a look at this?” Natalia asks Tony.

“Uh, yes. Well, no, but yes. F.R.I.D.A.Y. is programmed to run diagnostics, but the system’s attuned to me. So, F.R.I.D.A.Y. can run the programming to tell us what we want to know, but we have to do the labor first and deliver the markers. That’s why I want Banner to help. He’s got some personal experience with things like this.”

“Makes sense,” Nat says. She hesitates. Then, “How will you contact him?”

Tony gives her a long glance. “Nothing unconventional. I know that I’m a tech/materials/engineering genius, but I’m not doing anything that you don’t know about…So, I’ve gotta ask: he not returning your emails?”

“Something like that,” she mumbles.

Stella watches the conversation from the sidelines, pretty confident her assessment on Banner is accurate. It’s weird seeing Natalia outside Hydra. Outside the Red Room. Developing feelings for someone. Stella wishes Nat would just ignore all of that and focus on her. Stella wishes her and Nat could resume their closeness; when it was just the two of them against everyone else. Stella wonders if maybe it was a mistake to find her old mentor. She changes the subject.

“What was the point of us?” she asks.

Tony and Natalia turn to look at her, and wait for her to elaborate. When she doesn’t, Nat speaks up.

“We’re the product of other peoples’ choices. That’s what helps me sleep at night. That, and I make my own decisions now.” Stella gives her a look and Natalia grins at her. “Even with SHIELD, and whatever this new Avengers Initiative turns out to be, I made sure to put myself in a position where the people giving me orders are ones I trust and respect.” Natalia moves closer to Stella in the chair and puts a reassuring hand on her knee. “But we can’t go back. We can’t have what was. We can only move forward.”

“Unless you’re Cap, of course. Perfect Rogers.” Tony starts gesticulating wildly. “Cap finds out his best friend is a psycho assassin? No problem! Does it matter how many people his friend has killed? No!”

“Tony,” Nat says in a low voice.

Tony rummages his hand around in another drawer for a few seconds, but doesn’t come up with anything. “Steve’s a lucky son of a bitch,” Tony concludes.

“And what about me?” Stella asks.

“You’re lucky, too,” Natalia says. “You got out. And we’re going to make sure we find as many Hydra skeletons as possible.”

“What do you mean?”

Tony fills her in. “Beyond the blood testing? CT scans. Probably some psychoanalysis, too.”

“Some therapy to help you process what’s happened and adjust to your new environment,” Natalia clarifies. “Everyone here has battle scars.” She looks at Tony, but he doesn’t look up. He keeps examining random instruments he’s picked up. “I also think it would be best at first to keep a low profile,” she continues. “The group can be overwhelming, and it’d be nice if it could just be you and me for a bit. You know, catch up on stuff.”

Stella feels a smile tug at the corner of her mouth. The pressure of Natalia’s hand is still on her leg; warm and solid. The wrenches, tool chests, and LCD screens begin to disappear. The half finished robotics projects disappear. Even Tony Stark fades away. Stella is here, with her Nat, and she thinks she might be happy.


	8. Nat

They sit on her couch, legs folded underneath themselves, and facing each other. A movie plays on the TV against the wall, but it serves only as background noise. Discarded tea cups linger on the coffee table, with a couple plates from the pizza they finally snagged.

They talk.

They talk and talk, and the more they speak, the easier it gets. They talk. And then laugh.

Natasha watches as Stella’s arms soften by her side. This young woman transforms from rigid arms clenched tight against her sides, to an elbow resting on the couch back, supporting the side of her head as she leans into the pillowed backing. Her other arm rests down the length of her thigh, hand open and facing up, used to emphasize a dramatic moment in their conversation.

“You’ve done some amazing stuff in the last ten years,” Stella says.

“Some of it’s been very unreal.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I mean, an alien invasion happened. I don’t think I’ll ever wrap my head around that one.” Natasha pauses. She’s told Stella about her adventures throughout the years, all the while conscious that Stella was chained by Hydra for those years.

Natasha says, “I wanted to take you with me.”

Stella looks at her, her face full of curiosity.

“When I escaped. I wanted you to come with me. But I convinced myself that because of your higher priority, I’d only get you killed. And I didn’t want to make any decisions for you. I should’ve. You were only a child. I should’ve just taken you, even if you did put up a fight. But I didn’t. And I worried about you for a long time.”

“They told me you were dead,” Stella says.

Nat isn’t surprised, but it’s still horrifying to hear.

“They told me you got too comfortable and were killed in action. They said that I needed to train even harder, and that if I got any wrong ideas, they would use the Winter Soldier.”

“I’m sorry I put you through that.”

“No, it’s okay. I knew they were lying. By that time, no one had even seen the Winter Soldier for a long time. Then later, we started having problems. We didn’t have enough resources for missions. I was sent out too early in training; an early promotion due to understaffing. There were a few changes in leadership and they didn’t seem to know what to do with us from the Red Room. I always assumed the Winter Soldier was gone; purchased by someone else for their own agenda. Word was he was no longer needed to punish little agents who misbehave,” Stella says with a smile. “With him gone, no one seemed as threatening. We started to feel the effects of our upcoming fall months after you left.”

“What do you mean?” Nat asks.

“There were signs that Hydra was falling before the obvious ones. You left. Others left. I heard from a few sources that those with promise were being transferred. Life in Russia was becoming unbearable. The lucky ones were sent to the US to put the final touches on some plan. Turns out it was the successful infiltration of SHIELD.

“I was too young to leave. Too important. I was only sent out on missions until our cell group became too small to manage the group. Then I wasn’t allowed out of sight.”

“You had mentioned that a bit earlier,” Nat says. She wants Stella to know that she is listening. That she cares. “The cell turned into such disarray that you were able to escape?”

“If only you had seen it yourself. I think the people who had plans for me were killed by a competing group. I think they got their hands on the Winter Soldier. But they didn’t know about the Red Room. They didn’t know I was born there, in that compound. And I didn’t see reason to tell them. They brought me books, though,” Stella adds as an afterthought. “Some eighties novels and a super battered paperback version of The Hobbit. They’d been found in one of the off-limits rooms.”

“Interesting. If you’d like, we could go get some books for you. Barnes reads a lot, but I think avoiding most of us is part of his reading habit. Steve and him have a bookstore they go to a lot. That might be nice.”

“Yeah,” Stella says. “Or, if there’s anything laying around, that’d be fine, too.”

Natasha studies the young woman’s face. Her brown hair is tucked behind her ears, revealing her face in bloom. There’s color in her cheeks. Her green eyes are clear. Her lips, full and with an indented line down the middle of the lower, are set with one corner lifted up in a shy smirk.

“We’ll see what we can find,” Nat promises. Stella’s eyes seem to light up, just a bit, and then narrow in thought.

“Hey, Nat,” she begins cautiously, “who’s Banner?”

She lets out a deep breath. “You don’t miss anything, do you?”

“This is my specialty,” Stella admits.

“He’s someone I care about,” Natasha starts. “We used to be something more, but now we seem to be nothing.”

“I’m sorry, Nat.”

“Don’t be. We both have our issues. He wasn’t willing to look past his. Of course, his issues are certainly of a larger magnitude, I’ll give him that. He thinks by not engaging in romance he’s doing right by me. Being noble.”

“That’s dumb.”

Natasha laughs. “It certainly sounds dumb when I boil it all down. Of course, you and I have a different perspective on life, considering how we were raised.”

“I guess. So his issues don’t just compete with yours, but surpass them?”

“Banner has an alter-ego known as The Hulk.”

“Oh,” Stella says. She pauses, then, “I see what you mean now. Even I’ve heard of him.”

“Then you know exactly what kind of issues I’m talking about.”

“Most of them, I’d wager…Nat?” Stella asks. “Are you happy?”

“Right now? With my life? Free of the Red Room?”

“Yes.”

“I am.”


	9. The Captain

STEVE: Clint is still on the phone in a corner of the wet bar, but by now I can tell that he’s talking to his wife. He had walked in with pizza, saw what was left of us, put down the food and pulled out his phone.

“Well, this whole thing is weird,” Sam says to us. He’s great at breaking the tension and bringing things out into the open.

“You can say that again,” I say in passing, just to say something. I’m still watching Nat escape with her acquaintance, and then Tony run after them even though the elevator doors are closed and they are long gone now. I look at you and see that you’re also looking at the elevators. Your eyes are narrowed and your mouth is pursed, cheeks drawn in with your chin tilted slightly: you’re thinking hard about something.

“What is it?” I ask.

“She knew me,” is all you say for awhile. Sam and I share a couple glances before you continue: “Didn’t you see it in her face?”

“See what, Buck?”

“The fear, Steve. She’s afraid of me.”

No. I didn’t see that.

Before I can follow up, I see Wanda and Vision strolling towards us. “Let’s talk about this later,” you say.

“What are your thoughts on this Stella person?” Wanda asks as she and Vision reach our group.

“At this moment, I’m hoping that it’s all just as simple as Stella laid it out to be,” I confess.

“You don’t think there is more to her?” Vision asks me.

“God, I hope not. But, there usually is.”

“The Avengers have a knack for finding troubled youth from very dangerous organizations,” Wanda says with a smile and I catch her drift.

“If I remember correctly, you sought us out.”

Sam cuts through the small talk. “Did either of you get a read on her? Do you think she’s telling the truth?”

“Her emotions felt genuine during her explanation. I sense that she distrusts all of us to varying degrees, while she seems to completely trust Natasha. But I’m afraid I don’t have any more specific data to share. I think I would make things worse for her – and for Natasha if I were to use the gem.” Vision gestures to the Mind Stone that rests at his forehead.

“Don’t worry about it, Vision,” Sam says. “Who knows how long she’ll even stay.” I can tell there’s some wishful thinking in his statement. It feels too soon to take on another mission. We’re finally not at each other’s throats. You are finally here. No one is running away.

You give a low “Excuse me,” and leave the group for a bit. I know where you’re going, so I don’t worry about it.

“Do you think Nat’s okay?” Wanda asks.

“She’s a pretty well adjusted person,” Sam answers.

You arrive back to the group with one of the pizza boxes in your hands. You open the lid and offer us a slice. Wanda and Vision seem surprised at your thoughtfulness, which irritates me because it’s who you are. When you weren’t taking care of your sisters, you were taking care of me. I remember whenever I was at home, too sick to go to school, you always came straight over to see me. You walked right through the door; my mother had given you a spare key so you didn’t have to keep using the hidden one out front. You’d take your shoes off and drop your bag. You often came with new books from the library and you’d bring them to me on the couch while you then went into the kitchen to start heating up the dinner Mom had prepared for me before her nursing shift. You have always been the dependable one, Buck. It’s funny how people see me as the one with morals, but everything good I learned from Mom and from you. Of course, you taught me all the bad stuff, too, but that’s the best part of childhood.

“Way to deliver, Barnes,” Sam says and grabs a slice. Clint walks over now that bread has officially been broken. Everyone but Vision partakes in pizza.

“What do you think, Clint?” I ask.

“The timing makes sense: her escape juxtaposed with our activities against Hydra and Hydra-affiliated groups. She’s a bit skittish, though.”

“I don’t know,” I say. “She held her own against Tony.”

“Yeah, but she’s trained,” Clint says. “Like Nat. But,” Clint continues, “she came here for her compatriot and she found her. It doesn’t matter if anyone tracked her here because we’re the Avengers; those same organizations are plotting against us anyways.”

“Damn, Clint,” Sam says. “I think you actually found a real silver lining.”

Clint gives a laugh. “You know, there is a reason for my presence.”

“She was kept locked behind walls long after Black Widow defected,” you say. The heads all turn to look at you, intrigued. “Hydra, SHIELD, the KGB…they’ve all infiltrated each other. Again and again. I worked for all three without even knowing. We could have all three power players coming for her.”

“You think they’ll come even if they know she’s at Avengers Tower?” Clint asks.

“Depends on what she means to them. And how. But I should keep a low profile. She’s safest here, and I don’t want to be the reason she runs off.”

“You don’t need to hide, Buck,” I say.

“I know. But we don’t need to make this more difficult than it has to, you know?”

I hear a slight Brooklyn accent on the ‘you know’ and I smile. “Yeah. Okay, so let’s be smart about this. We stay on alert, but keep our distance: let Nat dictate what she needs from us.”

“Sounds good,” Clint says. “I can stay here at the Tower for a few days, then I should be off. I’ll be available for contact like always.”

“No, you go home, Clint. Like you said, we’ll contact you if trouble finds us,” I say. He doesn’t need to be away from his family more than necessary.

“I’ll stay the night and call it a draw.” Clint gives a salute, then walks out of the room. Either to the room he uses when he stays at the Tower or to find Nat. I’m thinking the former, since we’ve all just decided to give Nat space.

“Well,” Wanda begins, “Let me know if there are any developments.” She gives a smile and turns from our clandestine grouping.

“Are you going to watch more of that show?” Vision asks. “I believe the next episode starts a two-episode narrative…”

Wanda smiles back at Vision. “Come along, then. Any one else want to watch?” she asks us.

“Nah, I’m good,” Sam answers. You shake your head and I just smile back at her.

“Have fun,” I say. We watch them leave and then we start towards the elevators ourselves. We ride to our floor and walk down the hallway. Sam’s still with us and he follows us in to our room. He takes a seat on the couch in our small sitting room outside our bedroom and continues the conversation.

“So, Bucky, you’re certain she’s seen you. Have you ever seen her before?” Sam asks you.

“She definitely recognized me,” you reply. “But I have no memories of her. It’s possible that she had only heard of me, but I don’t think so.” You’re standing, leaning against the wall, arms folded across your chest.

“How weird is it to have Black Widow’s past show up at the front door?” Sam continues, “I mean, I feel like she’s made a bit of effort to eradicate her past.”

“It’s very weird,” I say. “When we talk, I never get the feeling that she’s holding back, or being reserved. And then I walk away realizing that I learned very little about her. Trivial things, at best. And now we have a person from her past living with us.”

“There seem to be quite a few people living here with their pasts,” Sam chides.

“Exactly,” I say. “Which is why I want to help. In whatever way is best. She’s just a young woman.” I remember about her looking like Rebecca and turn to you. “Oh, Buck, you know who Stella reminds me of? Your sister, Becca.”

Your face shows surprise. “Really? I guess the dark hair…”

“Yeah, I mean, she’s much taller, but her manner felt so much like your sister.”

“That’s funny,” you say.

“Yeah, it is.”

“No, I mean that I thought she reminded me of someone else. She made me think of Sarah, Steve.”

“My mother?”

“Just her eyes, and maybe her face shape or something. It’s probably some kind of self-projection of ours.”

“Maybe,” I say. So many people’s pasts are in the tower tonight. I’m glad I’m not facing them alone. That the one person from my own past I want with me is here now.

Sam has gotten bored with our ruminations and picks up an object from the end table that sits nestled between the sofa and the wall.

“ _The Man In the High Castle_ , huh?” Sam says. “There’s a series now. Is it any good, Steve?”

“I don’t know,” I say. “I haven’t read it. It’s Bucky’s.”

You lean forward at the waist, arms still grasped across you. “I haven’t started it yet,” you say.

Sam looks at you and hesitates for half a second. I know he is wondering why he has found something of yours and not mine, but then he moves forward. “Well, let me know when you two are done with it and I’ll watch the series. We’ll compare notes,” Sam says with a smile.

I smile back, knowing that the beginning of a new understanding has formed.


End file.
